"I met a lot of people in Europe...even myself."

I knew going into this semester it would go quickly, and I knew that I wouldn't be ready when the end approached. I knew this semester would be the best thing that I could have chosen for myself, and I knew that the people, places, and things I experienced and learned to love would impact me more than I was willing to acknowledge beforehand. I knew a lot about what this semester would bring for me, but I think that's because I knew exactly what I wanted it to bring me. As I mentioned in some of my first blogs, this semester was all about me discovering-- new cultures, new people, new things about myself in the midst of all the changes and chaos. I expected incredible things from the experience and extraordinary outcomes from it. I knew of the places I wanted to visit and of the things I wanted to learn, but the means by which I would achieve these things, the paths which I would take were unknown until they came to me.

That's a part of my personality that was released this semester. I always know what I want. I always have an end goal, but the details of how I'm going to get there, it's like they don't matter to me, when in reality those are what's going to make all the difference. It's about the journey (the process, right GH profs?). Getting there is what makes the end result whatever it is. If we could all just apparate like they do on Harry Potter, it would be too easy. I was once told that if what I'm doing is easy, I'm not doing it right. Look at this example we used for our persecution project. God says that those who are persecuted are blessed. Since when is that a blessing? Well, as our brilliant 3rd years said, because their faith is tested; it's authentic. In the midst of chaos and undeserved torture, they remain strong. Meanwhile, Christians in free countries are living the dream, going about life without taking a second thought, making decisions based on what is "right" for them. Life is easy for them, but does that mean they're doing it "right?"
Or my personal favorite example is an experience from earlier this semester when we visited a school in Zwolle and were all left with very bitter tastes about the Dutch education system. Paraphrasing: he said something to the extent of splitting into tracks because the teachers cannot handle the variety of learning styles/abilities (also the reason for special schools for special ed students). What I gathered from this was that if it's not convenient or easy for the teacher, it's wrong. On the contrary, I believe that teaching isn't going to necessarily be a breeze, nor do I really want it to be. I want to be forced to challenge myself, and I want my students to have an educational experience that prepares them as much as possible for real life, not some warped view of the world that they are just going to be placed where they should be and with the people they will work best with. 

So, here I was, 3 1/2 months ago, knowing that I wanted to try every new thing I could get my hands on throughout this semester. I wanted to put myself in a place so different than what I was used to, that my world would be forever rocked. How this was supposed to happen? No idea. Did it happen? More than I expected. Never would I have imagined walking out of this semester with what I get to take away from it. 

And now, this week the grieving process begins. Saturday night when we arrived home from Rome, From there a bunch of us attended our "going away party." It was completely different than I expected (still fun, just different), except for one part-- the tears. That's right, the goodbyes come with tears. Even though I know I'll see everyone when I seem them, I have no idea when that will be, and that's not very comforting. But alas, even the sun will set in paradise and I knew this time would come. And this was just the beginning.

Sunday we had our family going-away party. We had dinner with the host brothers that live in Zwolle and our host sister-in-law and niece, played just dance, and drank coffee-- a typical Dutch evening (minus the dancing). After that, LaRae and I went to celebrate Queen's Night with 3 of our host brothers. It was so much fun, until I realized it was the last night out with LaRae. All weekend I wouldn't even allow her to hug me, because I was dreading the goodbye process. Best friends cannot be replaced, and I didn't expect her to do that for me this semester. But throughout the semester, she became one of the best friends I could have asked for. No matter what-- whether I was in a good mood, bad mood, or celebrating my birthday, she was always there for me. And seeing her off the on the train Monday evening couldn't have been any more difficult. But of course, it had to happen... so there Kaitlyn and I were, running after our roommates' train headed toward Schipol... I know that we will all be together again-- when, I don't know, but not too far in the future, I hope!

Monday was perhaps the most bittersweet day of my life-- saying goodbye to some of the best friends I could have made this semester and celebrating Queen's Day. The weather was beautiful and the people of Zwolle were loving every second of their old Queen's birthday-- parades, loud (and various) music all over the city center, and of course beer drinking. Monday night I went out with a few of the girls and one of their host brothers and his friends, listened to the music, and watched the fireworks (as Kaitlyn said, also smaller than in America as usual), and ended up spending far more time out than I anticipated (but it was worth every second of it). In fact, I think Queen's Day is my favorite holiday I've experienced. Maybe the 5th of May will be better, we'll see. 

As much as it saddens me to know that half of the people I've grown so close to this semester are gone, I am sure that what we encountered throughout this semester together created a bond that means more than just our semester here-- it'll be long-lasting. While we may have all accomplished what we hoped to this semester, I am pretty sure this semester didn't go exactly how we all planned. For me, it exceeded my expectations, and I hope that it did the same for the rest of the SPICE group. We were blessed to spend the past 4 months learning new things, meeting new people, and creating relationships and challenging ourselves in a welcoming environment where these opportunities were available and encouraged. For the rest of my life, I know I'll look back on this semester and cherish it as one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Alright, enough sentimentality for one blog entry... 

(Note: prepare for even more in the next 2 weeks.)